Built by New Hampshire Artisans

In the "HISTORIC" Mill Buildings

of Manchester, New Hampshire. 

  •  Ethanol Gas
  • MoonShine
  • Anti-septic
  • Purified Water
  • Distilled Spirits
  • Essential oils 


Do you know anyone who makes their own gas, liquor, beer, purified water, antiseptic, essential oil, marijuana hash oils ?  I do, and they love the freedom that comes with owning one of my distillation units.

You can be assured, with our 100% unconditional, 30 day, money back guarantee that you will be satisfied with your purchase!

Please call us with any and all questions 603-997-6786

  • Ethanol Stills
  • Essential Oil Stills
  • Reflux Stills
  • Copper Wind Chimes
  • Custom Grills
  • Grill/Still Combo
  • Copper Wall Hangings


 

We all know what a Distillation Unit is; in one form or another.  But, have you ever actually used one?  Every household in the world needs to own one of my units. These apparatuses make it possible to survive the toughest conditions.  Stop relying on foreign oil and big banks.  What you need is to be self sufficient.  Purchasing a distillation unit is your first step towards freedom!


All of our products are sold at the most competitive prices, however, occasionally we offer promotions.  Feel free to check out what promotions we have available



If you ever are dis-satisfied, even 10 years from now, I am willing repair your unit free of charge!


Our process has been passed down from generation to generation and we continue to take pride in how we build our products.  Please take the time and review our positive feedback


Upon Purchasing a distillation unit, you are immediately opened to a new world full of opportunities.  The list goes on, and on, and on, and on.  EVERYONE NEEDS ONE  


Copyright © 2014-2016 The Distillery Network Inc. All rights reserved.  Please Call 1-603-997-6786 with any questions. This is an SSL Certified Secured Site and your Information will always be kept secure. 

flame flow copper moonshine still

Videos

High Quality Moonshine Stills For Sale.  Built by True New Hampshire Artisans.


Interview With an Empire
At 29 years of age, Jonathan Zajac’s Moonshine Still operations is not
only already dominating the moonshine still market but doing it with the
best products at the lowest prices. With an already successful assembly
operation in place one would think that this entrepreneur would be
focused on spring breaks over spring boards but launched off the next
platform seems to be what makes John tick. What began as a modest
idea has grown into a 7000 square foot facility that mass assembles high
grade Moonshine Stills and ships them across the entire country.
So what inspired you to create MoonshineStills.com?
My already successful assembly business gave me the experience needed
to start an operation like Distillery Network Inc. I always knew with the
right product I could design and mass produce units at an effective cost
and make it successful, so customers could make moonshine and whatever else was their heart's content. Stills was the perfect product for me to design,
produce and distribute. No other company can make them as well as us,
and not one can touch out prices. We are the best and making stills and
are growing By leaps and bounds. Our Moonshine Stills will soon be a
household name.
You are only 29 years of age and with the tremendous success of your
multiple business, clearly money is no longer your motivation. Aside
from continued growth, what are your aspirations for
MoonshineStills.com now?
In a word, a lot! The current year we will probably reach beyond our
projections but there is always more.
More?
Of course. More area to conquer, more customers to reach, more
education is needed to show the multiple uses of our units. We are not
just a local New Hampshire business trying to make it from one invoice
to the next. We are a global company primed to grow in leaps and
bounds. The truth is, we are setting the standards.
For the consumers or competition?
The consumers of course. We have no real completion; we are too far
ahead of the pack.
Let me know, what does a 29 year old business person spend his cash
on?
You may be surprised to hear this but in all honesty not much. My money
goes back into the business and my downtime is limited at best. So there
is not much time or even desire to spend money on things not related to
the business.
You have several well trained employees, What do they think about
working for somebody so youthful?
You may have to ask them but I would think that they see it as pretty
cool. I might come off as brash to some but I just tell it like I see it. I
don’t have much of a filter and I guess that comes from my lack of time.
I cut to the chase, shoot from the hip or whatever you might call it but
it’s not to offend, that is just my personality. I think the people around
me get that so the age thing sort of vanishes. At the end of the day I
don’t think they care if I am 18 or 80, we are all there to get the job
done right.
How does the concept of business contrast and the pragmatic side of
business that you have encountered creating MoonshineStills.com?
It's an unusual arrangement, but don't think that I don't invest any
energy working while I'm learning. A significant part of the guess work
that I'm putting to the test are OJT even as the owner. I could come up
with many examples of that but what business owner can’t right? The
economy, the industry, the market all changes sooner or later, it’s all
about making adjustments and keeping things moving forward.
In the event that you could do a reversal in a time machine to the time
when you were simply beginning. What business related guidance would
you give yourself?
I can tell you this, it wouldn't be a hell of a lot. The bumps and bruises
are all part of the journey. You need those sometimes to appreciate the
process. The Distillery Network Inc. was not created to arrive at a
destination, it is a growing and forever evolving journey. The inner fight
that it took to get to this point was already inside of me, I would most
likely tell myself to keep doing what I already was and hang on for the
ride.
Do you believe that entrepreneurialism is something that is in your
blood? On the other hand is it something that can be learned?
I believe it's a touch of both. You need to have the longing to succeed
and go out on a limb to get there. It's sure as hell not for everybody. I
love the sleepless nights and the future development prospects and also
watching the organization develop and flourish. We all need to have
driven objectives.
Is there anybody that you turn upward to and model yourself on?
Not really any individual, I'd rather display myself from different,
effective business visionaries and specialists and mix them together. I’m
sort of a carve my own path kind of guy.
What is the best counsel you have ever been given?
Anything is possible, impossible just take longer. (laughs) But that
wasn’t what you might call counsel, I think I read that somewhere.
What exhortation would you provide for a Young Entrepreneur setting
up their first business?
Try not to be too cautious or scared to go all in. It's your first business
and you have your entire life to make it work. It all about believing in
your abilities not reckless dangers.
What's to come?
Not trying to be rude but, far too much for one interview, that’s for sure.
All I can say is that you have to stay tuned there is so much more in the
works. The higher I climb the more I see. I already see us dominating
the stills industry and saw it before we went into mass production. Soon
the rest of the world with share that premonition.
Distillery Network Inc. is the gold standard of distillation units. CEO
and founder Jonathan Zajac’s empire operates out of Manchester New
Hampshire and offers free shipping of their beautiful designed stills all
across the country. For more information visit
www.MoonshineStills.com.

Jon Zajac speed walks at an energetic pace throughout his seven thousand square foot warehouse. He’s making phone calls, filling orders and guiding his close nit band of shop workers from the coppersmiths to the number crunchers. Copper has been in the Zajac family for well over a decade. Jon, who has a degree in business and entrepreneurship and is a master assembler, is every bit as driven, as you’d imagine. His vision is clear, ‘put a still in every home, as a survival tool.’ 
    
    “These aren’t just for making moonshine” Says Zajac. “You can do incredible things not the least of which is create ethanol for your vehicle to run on, clean drinking water, essential oils, antiseptics and balms, perfumes and marinades. The possibilities are endless.” Jon wants hobbyists, enthusiasts and the average person in the kitchen to distill their own productions. This will directly usurp power from big companies charging hundreds for perfumes etc when people can make it at home. The complicated part is this also will take money out of the governments pockets. 

             John is currently mass producing the first set of two hundred and fifty units set for this busy Season of September of January. This season when your family goes Apple picking, you may want to scour the orchard for the rotten ones! Any fermentable fallen fruits and vegetables can be used as a catalyst. 

Jon has successfully built a business that sustains itself with revenues exceeding one million dollars per year. He has ideas of offering home kits, selling copper barrels, yard art, wall hangings, yoga pyramids, crystal charging pyramids, butterfly benches. The ideas flow from Zajac like evaporating water.  

Commercial manufacturing production company residing in the historic mill buildings in Manchester, New Hampshire which hold a deep and rich history of the Industrial Revolution. Right alongside the Merrimack River which was used as hydro power (get into history of this area) 

Affordable stills beginning at three hundred dollars. Copper costs are down thus making the final product less expensive for the everyday consumer. 

We sell on Etsy, Amazon, Ebay, Craigslist, hold over 250 moonshine and distilled spirit related web names currently under development. Branched into The Distillery Network Corporation. We have an idea, which is a network-marking concept with the use of a catalog displaying our products and an enticing commission structure. Worldwide affiliates can sell our products making extra income for themselves and their families. The catalog and the concept are still under development however we are accepting applications for sellers to immediately begin selling online. ‘American Copper Network’ Subsidiary of ‘The Distillery Network’.  

Right now the 7000 square foot shop is filled with the sounds of banging, soldering and master assembly of five coppersmiths. We’re trying to boost our capabilities to be able to sell enough to meet the untapped demand. Each unit is assembled using the provided pot worm thumper and cap which all break down to conveniently fit any household. Shipped worldwide Free US Shipping (excluding Hawaii and Canada) in an 18”x18”x32” box right to your doorstop.

 

Regarding antiseptics in the 1800’s once hospitals realized that they could create antiseptics decreased the mortality rate exponentially.  

Reviews:

“Top notch quality. Shipping only took five days. Very great people to work with.”
-Margie Shoults

“Great item! Custom made to order and shipped quickly! The company was great to work with!”
-Josh Robinson

“This is the best I’ve seen! Real fast for a custom still.”
-Ken Bailey



SECTIONS

THE OPINION PAGES.....

HOW TO MOONSHINE


The process of water distillation has been around since the alchemists of 200 AD. The Greeks and Chinese transformed Alchemy into Chemistry and passed it on (in this order) to the Arabs, French, German, British and Americans. Distillation involves boiling impurities out of non-potable water then condensing the stream into a clean container. Water reservoirs contain 75,000 volatile organic compounds, chemicals and fluoride that are not removed through conventional filtration. Distillation eliminates nearly all of these impurities. 
Water purification is vital in regions where water is not suitable for ingesting without boiling. Speaking environmentally, bottled water produces 1.5 million tons of plastic waste every year. This plastic takes 47 million gallons of oil to produce. Distilling your own water eliminates all of this waste! Not some of it, ALL of it. Distilled water is preferable to tap water for use in automotive cooling systems because the minerals found in tap water can be corrosive to internal engine components. Distilled water is an essential component for use in cigar humidors. Mineral build up reduces the effectiveness of the humidor. 100 million people worldwide suffer from Sleep Apnea. Distilled water is used in CPAP machines that humidify the air entering the users air passages without leave any contaminants behind when the humidifier evaporates the water.
A still uses the same concepts as a basic distillation apparatus but on a larger scale. Copper stills naturally remove sulfur-based compounds that leave an unpleasant taste. In a stainless steel unit you’d need to place an additional copper mesh inside to achieve the same results. Copper is more malleable than stainless steel, which allows you to solder rather than weld if you’re creating your own. Copper has much higher heat conductivity than steel. With any kind of still you’ll have corrosion over time, which you’ll have to upkeep. Copper develops a blue-green oxide called Verdigris. If this isn’t cleaned regularly using unscented dish detergent, it could lead to health issues. Stills should never be cleaned with bleach or soaked in water and should always be rinsed with clean water and allowed to dry before storage or further use.
For more information go to: www.buyamoonshinestill.com

Copyright © 2014-2016 The Distillery Network Inc. All rights reserved.  Please Call 1-603-997-6786 with any questions. This is an SSL Certified Secured Site and your Information will always be kept secure. 

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~~ Buy A Moonshine Still with Confidence from The Distillery Network Inc. (www.buyamoonshinestill.com)~~


~~These units are ready to use. Start making your mash today with confidence that only the best moonshiners ever could have that your unit is in the mail already shipped on the next business day. You can always call us at 1-603-997-6786 and get an updated tracking number.~~ 

~~My 6 gallon units have been known to bring back over a gallon of output per run. My units are very efficient, using the thumper keg as a double purification unit, you will guarantee yourself 170 proof on your first run. STOP WASTING TIME.  The possibilities are endless with one of my units.~~

~~Please read our warranty before purchasing. YOU ARE COMPLETELY COVERED your first 30 days from any type of defects and damages. and after that period, you will have a lifetime warranty on all repair work.

~~About half of our customers buy our units for artwork for their house or barn. It is a great conversation piece, but also offers functionability. The dependability of my unit will ensure your survival even during the harshest of conditions. Copper is a very durable metal. dont be fooled into buying a stainless steel unit, do your research on what magical powers copper possesses and the affects it has on the product being produced, you will be astounded . ~~

~~YOU WILL NEVER need to buy another distillation unit again if you buy one of our units, for our lifetime warranty covers you in case of any issues. ~~

~~Please rest assured in knowing that this is the unit that will get you familiar with distillation. This unit is perfect for the beginner just getting into distillation all the way to the Popcorn Sutton level moonshiner. however, i have had many big time distillers buy my smaller units to cut down their product even more ( they are running 50 plus gallon units, then using my still to purify the pure product) EVERYONE NEEDS one of these units. protect yourself with one of these stills. let the warranty and my customer service protect your still. Please call 603-997-6786 and as we say here in New Hampshire... "STILL FREE OR DIE"~~ 

~~~~There are NO comparisons, my distillation units are the best units out there, made with 20 oz copper sheeting. The Traditional style moonshine still will always be popular. there are imitators, but please, look at the craftsmanship of my still and style and compare it to others, there is no competition. Every piece we send out gets tested before we ship it to guarantee another satisfied customer. ~

~~Moonshine stills have been around for centurys and there is currently a RENAISSANCE forming around hobby distilleries. With commercial and industrial distilleries popping up in cities by the dozens, an individual may ask themselves, "how hard is it to make my own spirits (make moonshine)"? Well, the answer may astound you. Upon recieving my still all you need to do is fill her up and heat her and still. THATS IT. please call me if you have any questions in regards to any of my products. I look forward to speaking with you. ~~

~~~~You can even use it inside, on a stove top, however i dont recommend doing so. All of my units are made with completely lead-free materials to ensure safety to my customers. All of the solder we use is completely lead free silver bearing solder and the flux is water soluble. we dont just slap these units together over here, we build these with pride, by hand, all year long. The Hobby Distillery market is exploding and i have been supplying customers with my stills for quite some time with ZERO complaints. This is why i am now offering a lifetime warranty certificate with every order. This ensures you the highest level of professionalism and guarantee behind our craftsmanship.~~ 

~~You may be hesitating to purchase your first unit from us, however, we have been building these for any years and if you look at our competitors stills at the bottom of the pots you can tell that they just slap a botto on, they don't care. well we care here at distilling and grilling, every still we make is perfectly fitted for each piece, no slapping together stuff here. what we enjoy building is quality products that people can admire for not only their excusite and unique beauty, but also their craftsmanship that just cannot be matched.we have the ability to build massive distillation units for an affordable price.~~

~~This is your one stop shop for everything you need to get started distilling your own spirits. the units we sell are the strongest, toughest, most unique and traditional styled designs out there. no one can compare .~~  

~~~~~Many people wonder what it takes to distill your own spirits , make your own water, make your own gas, make your own essential oils, make your own purfumes. well with a little research, it is VERY easy. Anyone can use one of my units , theres no science to it, it is plug and play. ~~~~~~

You know what really “lights my still”?

 

What really gets me going is the fact that barely anyone has ever heard that moonshine is essentially the same thing as GAS.  People don’t understand that they can make their own gas.  A copper moonshine still is a tool which every household should own.  By distilling fermentable materials, one can create an ETHANOL GASOLINE sufficient enough to power even the biggest of motors.  IF you owned your own copper moonshine still, you could heat your home throughout the cold winter months.  If you owned a copper moonshine still, you could make gas and run a generator and power an air conditioner throughout the hot summer months. A copper moonshine still is a tool for survival.  If you don’t own a still made from copper you’re doing yourself a dis-service.  It really lights my still knowing people could make their own, but don’t. 

It really scorches my mash to know that everyday people can make their own gas and don’t even know it.  Right on their stove-top in their own kitchen, everyday people harness the ability to create their own everything.    We have the power to create power.  IF you think about it.  A Copper Moonshine Still can make gas, which runs generators, which run the electric heating element for the copper moonshine still, which makes the gas.  Here at The Distillery Network Inc., we think about stuff like that, A LOT.  The possibilities are endless upon purchasing a copper moonshine still.

 

The possibilities are endless upon purchasing a copper moonshine still copper moonshine stills are the hottest man cave items on the marketplace. 2016 has proved to be the unleashing of a storm hobby distillers Nationwide. We have people from all across the country that class every day looking for copper moonshine stills to supply the garage with the highest grade ethanol gas last moonshine on the market place. You can do it yourself with our copper moonshine stills. They are so easy to put together all you have to do is spend the fittings. We know how to make stills. We've been building Stills for so long we've sold thousands of these moonshine stills across the world. You can make your mini home Distillery with our copper moonshine stills made by true New Hampshire artisans. Don't be shy you can brew moonshine today right at home in the comfort of your own property. We have the best copper distilling stills on the marketplace Brought You by The Distillery Network the Copper Still Company that is the best stuff because we provide a lifetime warranty with all of our copper moonshine stills and accessories. You may ask yourself where you can buy a moonshine still? the best moonshine stills for sale are right here folks give me a call +1-603-997-6786 for the best copper moonshine stills in the world will use 20 oz.  22 gauge copper and we never report our customers to the government. we hold some of the best reflux still plans in the marketplace are Stills give up to 185 proof liquor their first run. If you eat a moonshine still, you'll end up finding up as one of their top sellers. moonshine kit is a business name. we have a large selection of spirit Stills for sale. You can find a 10-gallon still for sale exclusively here at The Distillery Network. You can get an upgrade and Thumper and worm kit for your unit as well which has two hose hookups you can hook a hose up to it water in and water out. It also has 8 coil springs for maximum cooling power the summer is much larger and the worm is much larger than a standard size unit. if you're looking to do some Moonshine distilling then you need to buy one of our Stills it's so easy. If you go on Amazon and type in moonshine still, you'll end up finding are still there as well our company name is E85 Supply. our pot stills are very effective as well as efficient. you can make a moonshine still yourself or you can save the time and the money and have the pros do it. You can't compare our competitors homemade Stills we Mass produce all of our units in our shop in America. Distilling moonshine has never been so easy available 24/7. bourbon stills then you come to the right place we have the best copper bourbon Stills in the marketplace. if you want to still moonshine with a pot still for sale by The Distillery Network and make your liquor at home on a stove top for cheap buy a moonshine still from The Distillery Network our moonshine distilleries for sale still moonshine easily. you can buy a moonshine still on the cheap here for sale from American Factory. Don't get confused online when you see all these moonshine Distillery kits for sale and all the stainless steel crap that's out there you don't want any of that. You want a copper moonshine still because it ripped out the sausage from the liquor and gives you a smoother taste. Buy a still from the professionals you still at work +1-603-997-6786. you can buy home Distillery equipment from us on our website shop. Buy a moonshine still. Com hour alcohol still make mash for moonshine and teach you how to brew moonshine right at home. You may have seen the Moonshiners show and said to myself damn I wish I could do that. Order till now and have your unit in less than 2 weeks or a little more depending on shipping. 25-gallon moonshine still will yield you 4 gallons of pure moonshine White Lightning ethanol gas that will fuel a rocket ship and blast you off to the Moon and back. This is alcohol everybody needs an online copper moonshine stills you can do it yourself. Making moonshine has never been so easy. We have Brewing Stills for sale whiskey Stills for sale order distillation unit now to make moonshine at home. Moonshine still kits and copper moonshine stills for sale here same ones you can find on eBay and Amazon but cheaper. completely legal moonshine stills we have no problem shipping anywhere in the world. Report your name's any government agency. Our Generation after generation they can fulfil your Moonshiners destiny. Buying a moonshine still is easy you just go on my website and buy it we have tags still for sale and its Popcorn Sutton always said Jesus made water so I made water into liquor. Cheap still for sale distilling to make your own moonshine at home on a stove top in your kitchen in the privacy of your own home. pot still for sale. We can build you a moonshine still that can make rum bourbon vodka sauce any type of liquor ethanol gas Moonshine Whiskey essential oils fragrances perfume spirits distilled water you can essentially put swamp water in it and get fresh water. our liquor stills of the best buy a moonshine still from The Distillery Network. Our Stills are completely 100% legal just don't make moonshine and sell at the people. You can buy a 2-gallon still a four-gallon still a 6 gallon still an 8 gallon still a 10-gallon still 12 gallons still a 14 gallons fill a 15 gallon still a 20-gallon still a 25-gallon still a 30 gallon still a 35 gallon still a 40-gallon still a 45-gallon still and a 50-gallon still all from the comfort of your own home. Order stills online from The Distillery Network. we had a small copper moonshine stills up to large copper moonshine stills and it's all up to personal preference what you want our stove top still kits are the best way you can use them right on the kitchen table we recommend 2 - 6 gallon Stills on that. You should get a still to make ethanol to make your own gas which Powers heating fuels and your home in the winter when it's cold. Purchase a moonshine still from the Moonshine Pros we make all of our copper still here and our shop in America.


    Physically, The Distillery Network is a seven thousand square foot copper playground in a historic mill building in Manchester, New Hampshire. In the vastness of technological space, the shops reach is global. Jon Zajac, owner, looks like a college student on his way to a party but dig a little deeper and he’ll blow you away with the enormous amount of life experience he’s acquired. Jon is an entrepreneur; his goal is clear and concise, ‘put a still in every home’. So what does this mean? It means the average consumer can create fuel for heating homes and running cars, creating antiseptics and perfumes. You can distill swamp water and create clean drinking water. It means being self sufficient with a survival tool, which packs up small enough to fit inside of a kitchen cupboard. Stills start at two hundred and eighty nine dollars for a two-gallon unit. No more gas stations, no more power company. You become your own power plant fueling your life. 

    The shop holds sway over a staggering, two hundred and fifty moonshine related web sites. The American Copper Network, (a subsidiary of The Distillery Network) offers a catalog and a commission structure that affiliates can use to sell products. “We want to use this network-marketing avenue to spread the catalogue so people can give it to their friends and family and get commissions. Not so much as an income generator but more so a product purchasing incentive that can be likened to store credit.” Says Jon. 
    
    What does the future hold for Jon and his Copper Kings? This is only the beginning of a long and exciting journey. This is the American dream in development. With so many options for Copper creations, construction is underway on a long and shiny bridge to a limitless sky.

Copyright © 2014-2016 The Distillery Network Inc. All rights reserved.  Please Call 1-603-997-6786 with any questions. This is an SSL Certified Secured Site and your Information will always be kept secure. 

170 degrees

I want to Negotiate with you, We can ship moonshine stills next day! @ 1-603-997-6786

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July 28th, 2016

This is Jon Zajac, our Moonshine stills aren’t just for Moonshine but for all things homebrew. 

They make distilled spirits, any kind of liquor, essential oils, fragrances, perfumes, distilled water you can essentially put swamp water in it and get fresh water.

You can make ethanol gas, which runs motors, which runs vehicles, houses, heating. 

You can make your own antiseptics with a still.

For around four hundred dollars you can receive a six-gallon, all copper moonshine still, that’s made by true New Hampshire artisans.

We have seven thousand square feet in a Manchester New Hampshire mill building. 

We build units from two gallons all the way up to five hundred gallons

You can do so much stuff with this and it’s all on your own, in your own time, in your own house. 

So please be part of the distillers renaissance. 

flame flow copper moonshine still
Flame Flow Copper Moonshine Still For Sale

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Moonshine Times

George Washington and Doug

    An eerie Orange glow filled the skies over Mesopotamia. The burning sound of steam venting through Copper spires filled the air. The year was 1815 BC and a young George Washington was creating hundreds of thousands of liters of balm for the army of King Zimrilim. History alleges that Washington was born in 1732 AD so how could this be? The answer is simple. Aliens, Quantum Physics and time travel technology. 
    Cannon ball fire and muskets blazed through the night on April 19, 1775. It was the beginning of the Revolutionary war. Washingtons army charged the British, extremely slowly, on the backs of trudging Triceratops. They were losing badly due to the pace but Washingtons men pressed on. The British hurled the only thing in their arsenal, Potatoes they stole from the Irish. This had little to no effect as they’d just get stuck on the dinosaur horns but not inflict any serious damage. Suddenly a bolt out of the blue! 
    A swirling cloud of lightning appeared over Yorktown. Bright luminescent glowing lights filled the sky for miles. Men retreated in fear from both armies. Few were left standing and those who were, were scared shitless. A low electromagnetic hum vibrated the ground and suddenly a blue light pulled Washington from his dinosaur, hurling him through the air. 
    Once aboard the alien space ship, after much probing, Washington was taught by brew master Doug, the fascinating process of distillation and all of its uses. Doug was a vegatarian. He was an alien from the Vega star system and like all Vegans he was totally on the sauce and only eating Kale. He was also a fan of the Police Academy movies. Back to Washington. He learned that not only could he make booze in the Copper distilleries, it could be used to create antiseptics and perfumes. Understandably he drank the perfumes he created. The Aliens said the process needed to be refined from scratch after all of the damage Doug had done over the years. He had lost all of his paperwork in an arson attempt with Elvis on Saint Patricks Day. The aliens used telepathy as a means to contact Professor Michio Kaku in the year 2013 to get advice on the quantum mechanical equations needed for time travel. 
    Kaku, coincidentally was taking a steam bath in a giant still on 53rd street in New York City. He would regularly steam his vagina on days off. He instructed the aliens that if they created a machine to bend space time, to essentially fold space in half they could travel vast distances and potentially catch up to the past. This is exactly what the aliens did and just like that they dropped Washington into the middle of Mesopotamia. After divulging his learned distillery secrets to the king he was taken out back and shot. BUT, after that he was resurrected and sent to the lab. We should be all caught up. 
    So the year is once again 1815 BC and Washington along with Doug (yea Doug came along), were creating a ridiculous amount of balm for the MesoArmy. The men would surely need it if they hoped to make it through the oncoming battle with the Ewoks alive. Furry bear like creatures began to appear on the horizon. Swords and Spears were taken up and the war began. Once again as quickly as the battle began for Washington, it had ended. He was transported by the Aliens through space and time and deposited on a boat holding a flag and sword. He was crossing the Delawere River and he was fucking psyched. He learned a new trade, met a drunk alien named Doug, Time traveled, rode a dinosaur, battled English and Ewoks and now he was headed to a sick party on the shore where DeadMau5 was spinning. Thus the modern day process of Distillation was born.

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